1. |
Intro
04:14
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The days of youth are gone,
they've drowned in cold water.
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2. |
Looking Back at Things
03:38
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I'm tired of being worn and beat down
and learning to build myself up again
but every time I always lose a piece of what was me
maybe I should go and try to run away
but I'll end up just missing you
I'll see you when we're both old and gray,
or so I thought.
I don't want to talk to you anymore
And I hope that's alright
I'd rather spend my time fucking sobbing than to be with you.
I guess I'm not enough for anyone at all.
Not even to the ones that I've said that I loved.
I'm tired of waking in the mornings
regaining nearly every memory.
Every regret and embarrassing thoughts that I've ever had.
Maybe I should go and run away from them
But they'll end up catching me.
It's alright, I don't need your help i'll fight this alone.
I don't want to talk to you anymore
And I hope that's alright
I'd rather spend my time fucking sobbing than to be with you.
I guess I'm not enough for anyone at all.
Not even to the ones that I've said that I loved.
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3. |
I guess I miss you
04:15
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I wish you could hear me say these words.
Every day, every night, I always think of you
I would start it all over again, if I could.
Currently feeling so pessimistic of myself
(Wishing you were here to help)
For the time that you were here,
I gotta tell you that you were the spotlight of my life.
(Now it's time to say goodbye)
Staring at where you once were
I'm now, just currently, looking for the cure
(So that it won't hurt)
Being surrounded by falling leafs
looking around and witnessing nature's beauty
(Something you'd want to see)
Looking up at the clouds
seeing your smiling face in the sky
and wishing I could fly high.
Memories start to fade,
I try my best to remember again.
I'm going insane.
Forgetting what it's like to hold your hand,
i can't tell anymore.
I'm starting to mourn.
At least I have pictures and videos to remember what it was like
when you were alive.
This teddy bear of your voice is forever the last words i'll ever hear from you.
"Okay, Mi Amor... bye"
For the time that you were here,
I gotta tell you that you were the spotlight of my life.
(Now it's time to say goodbye)
Staring at where you once were
I'm now, just currently, looking for the cure
(So that it won't hurt)
Being surrounded by falling leafs
looking around and witnessing nature's beauty
(Something you'd want to see)
Looking up at the clouds
seeing your smiling face in the sky
and wishing I could fly high.
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4. |
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Hey man! (How are u doing?)
I'm doing just fine!
I'm watching live streams, videos, and hanging out with my bros.
Scrolling through my feed on Twitter and feeling a bit bitter.
Wouldn't want it any other way.
My face is covered in blue lights all night long
having better times with pixels than flesh and bones.
I'm slowly getting tired of not feeling much
It's starting to get to my head, it sucks.
I keep creating these false scenes in my head
and think of things i'll miss out on when I'm dead.
So I'll try my best to do all that I can to capture this moment.
I'll leave a small trail digital or not
cuz I want to be remembered and not forgot.
I'll make some new friends and do it over again.
This music ties everything inside my mind.
This hyperlink has memories that I've forgot.
This light covers my face nearly 24/7
The dopamine hits and I feel as I'm in heaven
serotonin racing down all of my veins as we talk once again
I know this archives all success and mistakes
But I don't care cuz of all the fun we make
At least when the end of the world comes aliens can see who we were
I keep creating these false scenes in my head
and think of things i'll miss out on when I'm dead.
So I'll try my best to do all that I can to capture this moment.
I'll leave a small trail digital or not
cuz I want to be remembered and not forgot.
I'll make some new friends and do it over again.
This music ties everything inside my mind.
This hyperlink has memories that I've forgotten about.
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5. |
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6. |
When your "heros" change
03:32
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I can't even stomach the feeling of thinking of you.
I feel like i'm trying too hard to envy you, I guess.
when I was a little boy, i'd say about 13
I remember seeing your art, feeling something inside of me
That twinkle that was in my eyes has since begun to fade
Several years later I wish I had forgotten your name
Those 7 letter words that you've since changed to 9
Now that you're gone there are now things I have since recognized
You used your own personal life to manipulate our emotions
I looked up to you
now I feel used
l feel like a little fool.
I can't even stomach the feeling of thinking of you.
I feel like i'm trying too hard to envy you, I guess.
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7. |
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8. |
With No Words
02:51
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Is there something I can say?
Why am I still being afraid?
Can I control all my thoughts?
I don't mean to (but I can see through)
I can see through all of your lies
Can I start being a fucking man
and starting having some self-control?
It's something my mind is always told
And I don't mean to (but I can see through)
I can see through all your smiles
For years i've been asking
what the hell is wrong me me
I'm staring and standing
Dissociating.
I'm either emotional or feel nothing at all
contemplating
everything i've done so far
I know, I know
I haven't slept since yesterday morning
I know, I know
I'm trying to fix myself.
Is there something I can say?
How do I stop being afraid?
Can I control my emotions?
I don't mean to (but I can see through)
I can see through all of your lies
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9. |
Hyperactive Mess
04:56
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Oh Boy.
How fucking stupid are you?
You know you did this to yourself right?
Point the finger at yourself because i'm not giving you any help.
Just look at the mirror, tell me what you see
A meat sack full of broken dreams.
One often wonders how would they be
If you took the chances, would you be okay?
I'm not okay
I need to get these fucking thoughts out of my brain
maybe these pills can help me?
I'll take a few or a handful and i'll wait as my body slowly breaks down.
Wait.
I regret this. No more, no more.
I regret this. My stomach turns.
vomit spills out, I start to fade
is this it? I'm fucked.
I regret this. No more, no more.
I regret this. My stomach turns.
vomit spills out, I start to fade
is this it? I'm Dead.
I try to live even though I'm dead inside
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10. |
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11. |
Interlude
01:23
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12. |
Unnecessary time wasted
02:27
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Over a year
that time wasted
could've been spent
on things productive.
Look at me
I'm still trapped here.
Look at you
All out there.
If only I
had been there
Then maybe it
could've been long there.
Was it some kind of fucked joke
cuz only you left with the most.
(Break it)
Break my fucking heart
(Take it)
Tear it all apart
(Smash it)
Like a little bug
(Act like)
We both weren't in love
ba ba da ba ba ba ba da da da da
one two fuck you
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13. |
Romanticised Adolescence
06:08
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I often lay and close my eyes
and imagine knowing what it's like
to be with you here and right now
our arms wrapped our bodies all around
but i'm still here using a pillow as a substitute
while I sit here waiting for you
waiting from the other side
But i'm merely meek and very weak
look at my eyes, all dark and tired,
sitting down, wanting to seek
something that goes on for miles,
but all I see are gloomy days.
Dark and gray with black and white
so I sit and pray in hopes, to live another day.
I sit with tears flooding my eyes
What have I done to deserve this
how can you just love someone like me?
You make it simple that something so soft, so weak
can be seen as strong and special.
you make me feel valuable.
Sitting and staring at the stars
while wishing that you were here with me.
Our fingers are grasping on the grass,
listening and waiting just to see.
(A small shining star)
closing our eyes.
(Slowly getting)
Closer to you.
And I woke up just to look and to see that it was all but a simple dream. There's no one here but me.
Now I sit and wait here for the day where we can make these dreams turn in to reality.
But i'm merely meek and very weak
look at my eyes, all dark and tired,
sitting down, wanting to seek
something that goes on for miles,
but all I see are gloomy days.
Dark and gray with black and white
so I sit and pray in hopes, to live another day.
I sit with tears flooding my eyes
What have I done to deserve this
how can you just love someone like me?
You make it simple that something so soft, so weak
can be seen as strong and special.
you make me feel valuable.
So i'll stay here by your side, waiting for the right time.
put your arms around me.
Don't let go,
Just make me feel like I'm worth something.
Make me feel like I'm somebody.
Okay.
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14. |
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Hey babe, please let me know that you're okay
Hey babe, I'm sorry that I am far away.
I'm not sure at least anymore
Sitting and waiting might be a mistake.
You said that we were ending it in good terms
and we would still be friends
but that was back then.
I feel like a big fool now
few days have passed and I feel a little better
Then you started to begin leaving me on read.
I waited a few days that turned to weeks
slowly starting to think that you only said that
So I could feel good and forget.
So did you lie to me?
You wouldn't lie to me.
So did you lie to me?
Why would you lie to me?
So did you lie to me?
You wouldn't lie to me.
So did you lie to me?
Why did you lie to me?
I'm now alone.
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15. |
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I've been wasting your time
surrounding you with problems that don't matter at all
Though you're so very kind
I don't know you stick with me, I don't deserve you really.
It's just another scene in this movie we call life
even though we were together for a short time
and you may be just someone passing by
oddly you make me feel alive.
It's sad that you're not here anymore
The things that you sowed are what I still adore.
While I grow up without you
I still hope that somewhere you watch over us and give us clues on what to do.
Mistakes were made
I live to regret them
I guess I'll take what life throws at me
It's just another scene in this movie we call life
even though we were together for a short time
and you may be just someone passing by
oddly you make me feel alive.
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16. |
I try to stop
06:29
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I can never try
I cry to hard that I cannot bare a smile
Right now,
I'll get up and force one on my face
I can always try to go out
and not spend a day without
thinking of my demise
I have to get it off my mind.
Why do I carry a burden on my back
While walking on top of broken glass
My eye hurt from this mental attack
It somehow feels like I deserved it back
I can never try
I cry to hard that I cannot bare a smile
Right now,
I'll get up and force one on my face
I can always try to go out
and not spend a day without
thinking of my demise
I have to get it off my mind.
Cross my heart, hope to die
I'll sacrifice all my time
Doing things i'll eventually regret
everything will be done
Time's now gone and I'm left all alone
I feel lost without you.
I feel trapped and paralyzed.
I can never try
I cry to hard that I cannot bare a smile
Right now,
I'll get up and force one on my face
I can always try to go out
and not spend a day without
thinking of my demise
I have to get it off my mind.
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17. |
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I've slowly started over thinking nearly every day and night
(day and night)
I've realized that I could never truly ever be alright
(we'll be okay)
Maybe I should just shut up and dance with whatever comes to me
(and then we'll be)
we'll learn that at the end of this long day that it was a waste of time
(and we will die)
wrinkles forming on my head
the average stress for kids my age
(it doesn't matter anyways)
no wonder why our suicide rates are the way they are
(you've wasted all your greatest days)
If this is my peak them I'm fucked
My life is filled with a lot of mistrust
(Every second counts down)
I look at my reflection with disgust
(Don't waste your days lying on the ground.)
then walk out there.
My heart tears itself apart from the validation that it lacks.
Only I can gaslight myself to think that tomorrow will be a better day.
I can only be reassured if it comes out of your own mouth
Despite how much I want to be independent I feel I'm only dependent on you
Even in the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will bring the dawn once more.
Until we have settled down, wipe that look of your face
breathe in and out your scent.
You don't need to cry anymore
It's okay I'm here "mi amor"
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18. |
outro
00:59
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thank you for being here
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Snail Trails Glendora, California
Two-piece emo thing located in the IE
Snail Trails recommends:
Inersophobia: The Fear That Everything Will Stay Exactly the Same
by How To Be Dead
Their best record from everything they have mde
go to album
Friend's Solo Project
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Derramar | Querer | Borrar
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